The function of flirting

To learn how to flirt, I needed to figure out WHY I was doing it. So I asked my Mum

As a child, my mums advice if I fancied someone was just to make sure they know you like them. By any means. (she didn’t say that, but I think that is how I took it).

Spread it round school, tell your friends (for me this manifested as m friends harassing my crush on ask fm: “DO YOU FANCY KATE BENSON?????”)

She always said, and still stands by, that if you know someone fancies you - it piques your interest in them.

I do agree with this, because when I found out people fancied me, it would often be MINUTES before I manufactured them into my dream crush and pined for them for weeks on end.

Is that problematic in itself? Maybe? Or maybe it just opens your mind up to the potential of attraction. Like when you have a dream about someone… and then wake up like—— OH okay. Maybe I fancy you now?

Either way, it made me think about our MOTIVATION for flirting. To learn how to flirt, I need to know why I am doing it (setting SMART goals and all that).

While it can just be for fun (and I am attempting to flirt with everyone for fun), for me the ultimate aim of flirting for me is that they know I like them, and something can potentially progress.

And to quote my Mum “if they know you like them, they can then do what they want with that information”.

The problem with finding out that someone fancies you, is that I often don’t have a fucking clue what to do with that information. Maybe they don’t either.

But, *sigh*, I guess we have to trust as the 28 YEAR OLD ADULTS WE ARE, that people will do something about it. And if they don’t, they don’t.

It might (will) hurt - it’s a rejection. But we can’t live life in fear of that.

So we now know the main aim of my mission. It may be a very obvious aim to some, but it is one my brain needed to be more accepting of myself.

Flirting is flirting, whether it is what I define as “good” (what everyone else does) or “bad” (what I do), because if they know I like them - why does it matter how I got there?

I’m going to continue being awkward as fuck, spreading rumours I fancy people, sending them weird flirty posts on Instagram, and attempting to stare at them.

BUT, I’m also going to try something new. The next stage all about the HOW. And I’m going to Greece tomorrow with nothing else to do but swim, flirt, and then write about it.

So I guess we’ll see.

Kate xox